


Idiots in love

by JxJJP



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 04:59:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17995307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JxJJP/pseuds/JxJJP
Summary: Idea supplied by @justbarbi3 - Jealous JJP due to Ye Eun & JUS2 schedules.I suck at writing summaries sorry~But the story is in Jaebeom's POV that's all I can tell~ hahas!





	Idiots in love

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a long long time since I've really written a fic from scratch so please do leave some feedbacks for me to improve~? *puppy eyes* hees!
> 
> Sorry if there's any grammer/spelling errors as I didn't proofread it.. >///<
> 
> Enjoy~!

 

 

 

_“It’s work… It’s work… I’m ok with it because it’s work…”_

It’s a mantra that I’ve been repeating more and more to myself these days. For what reason, I’m unsure but my heart seems to sink more and more as the days pass. I’ve never knew how to define happiness whenever I was asked… but I can now define sadness if you want me to.

Sadness…

Is when I woke up without you beside me…

Is when I can no longer get your attention as much as I used to…

Is when I… saw someone else having you like you are no longer mine…

_But it’s all just work… right…? At least that was what I wanted to believe in…_

“Hyung…” a soft gentle voice interrupted the trance I’ve gotten myself in, breaking the painful train of thoughts I’m starting to have frequently.

“Hm?” was all I replied to the angelic looking boy.

“It has been a month… Are you seriously not going to do anything about it?” he said as he plopped down on the sofa beside me with a groan.

“He’s working hard… He must be tired so I don’t want to disturb him too much…” I whispered a standard reply which I gave everyone who asked.

“And you know that’s a total bullshit” he replied, annoyed.

Of course, I knew… The excuse I gave is getting unbelievable even to myself as well. Why am I not contacting him? Why am I withholding myself and putting myself in pain? The answer was obvious but I didn’t want to face it for my insecurities are eating my alive.

_She is so much more suitable for him than me._

   
How am I supposed to admit that to the world? To myself?

“Hyung… Both of you are the most precious being to me apart from my family… I don’t like seeing you like this… You may have tried your best to hide your pain but we will always be able to see through you… Even Jackson hyung who was in China noticed it and was worried… Just give him a call and tell him how you feel…? I’m sure Jinyoung hyung misses you just as much…” he said softly as he held my hand in his.

“Gyeom-ah… It’s not that simple… I can’t lose him… But what if… what if…” I trailed off as the thought itself killed all my will to speak.

“He loves you so much and you know that as well. So why are you suddenly doubting that?” Yugyeom questioned with a frown as he chided his pitiful looking hyung.

Because I felt it, Gyeom-ah… I felt it from his short replies through text, from his dismissive and nonchalant tone during calls and… from the look he had when he looked at her… But… I’m afraid to admit it… I’m afraid to face the end of us when I know I would still let him go with a smile even if my heart dies along with it… Such a fool I am but this is just me… The fool who fell in love with his best friend…  
  
“I will…don’t worry we’ll be fine… Come on, let’s practice for our debut~!” I replied with a small smile as I acted all cheerful, pulling the frowning maknae to his feet again.

I’m not sure how much time has passed as I danced and danced till my legs gave out and I lay helplessly at the floor of the dance studio alone as the music fades off. It hurts… It hurts… Everything is hurting… be it my body, my mind or my heart… Everything hurts so damn much… 

_Jinyoung-ah… are you hurting as well? Do you… do you miss me as much?_

But the scene of you kissing her races through my mind every mind so frequently that I could no longer breathe… The way you looked at her made my heart clench in pain… How long as it been since I last seen that look from you…?

  
“Hello?” You said after picking up the call which I’ve unconsciously made.

“Hello?? Hyung?” you said again as I remained silent because I just can’t find any strength in me to reply without breaking down into tears.

“Jaebeom-ah… Why aren’t you saying anything? I can hear that you are there…” Jinyoung asked softly as if he’s worried.

“Jinyoung-ah…” was all I could master as my vision started to blur out with the tears that has slowly filled up.

“Is there something wrong?” you asked patiently with some ruffling sounds at the back.

_I miss you…_

“Jinyoung-ah…” I repeated again, softer than before…

“hmm? What is it Jaebeom-ah?” came your hushed reply, as if you are trying to keep our conversation a secret.

“I… I-“ taking a deep breath to stabilize my voice, I started what I wanted to say…

But luck was definitely not on my side for I was interrupted the worst ever way.

“Jinyoung oppa~ the van is here~” she called out sweetly, or it’s just her normal tone but to the current me, everything is making me sick.

“I-It’s nothing… Please remember to eat and rest well despite being busy k? Love you…” I whispered with all the self-control I had in my body before hanging up the call without waiting for his reply.

_Because I know that your reply might most probably just be an ‘oh ok, you too’. That would be too much for my torn and battered heart right now… I refuse to hear it…_

You know what? This is so unfair… You said you are jealous that Yugyeom stole your spot beside me but why aren’t you hurting as much as I do…? Why do I not feel any real jealously radiating off you at all…? Are you that good of an actor or am I… Am I actually not that of a big deal to you…? Just that thought alone made me dizzy... 

Tears started pouring out uncontrollably as I bit down on my lips to stop myself from screaming out my frustrations. Sobs wrecked my body so bad that I couldn’t stop trembling as I curled in a ball, hiding from the world. Every part of my body is hurting so so much that I can’t breathe, I can’t move… All I want right now was for all these to end… I can’t go on anymore… I really can’t…

_I’m really tired… of crying alone… of being alone… of everything right now…_

Glancing at my bag that sat innocently on the sofa, ideas started running through my head…

_Would the painkillers work…? Or perhaps the sleeping pills…?_

And I wanted to laughed at my current predicament so much for all my thoughts had somehow turned into actions, controlling my body without permission. For without me knowing, I’m already seated on the sofa with the two bottles of pills in my hands, staring at them blankly.

“Don’t you even dare!” a loud voice boomed through the studio unexpectedly, successfully causing me to drop the bottles and jump up in shock.

_Yes, totally unexpectedly. It’s 4am in the morning afterall…_

“Fucking hell Jinyoung! You scared the hell out of me!” I shouted back while clenching onto my heart which was hammering against my ribs painfully. Forgetting everything that had happened for the past few hours cleanly.

“YOU scared the hell out of me!” He shouted angrily as he stomped over, kicking the bottles of pills far away to the other end.

“W-What…?” I muttered with an incredulous gasp.

“You were crying…” You whispered worriedly the moment you stood in front of me, cupping my face gently with your cold hands as you whip away the remaining tears that were present.

_Well… after the shock he gave me at 4am in the morning, I think I lost the will to cry, for now that is…_

“I was… but not anymore…” I chuckled and rolled my eyes at the ridiculous situation that just occurred.

“You were crying because of me… right?” You asked with pain reflecting in your eyes.

“N-No…I… I’m just too tired…” I lied with a nervous smile.

_Even if you’ve hurt me badly, I’ll never want to see any pain in your eyes Jinyoung-ah… never…_

“Don’t lie to me… Yugyeom called me just now when you refuse to eat nor rest… Jaebeomie… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for not noticing that you are in so much pain because of me…” Jinyoung muttered sadly as he buried his head at my neck while hugging me around the waist.

“It’s really nothing…vWhy are you here thou, Jinyoungie… It’s late…” I attempted to change the topic while mentally plotted how should I kill Yugyeom in his sleep.

“I came because I was worried… I need to see you… What were you doing with the pills? A-Are you… are you…” He trailed off as he started bawling incontrollably.

“Don’t cry Jinyoungie… please don’t cry baby… There’s nothing to be sorry or worry about… I’m just being dramatic… I’m sorry it’s my own fault… and no! I’m not trying anything funny here… It’s just I think I kind of sprained my ankle and my back is aching badly…?” I whispered in his ear while hugging him tightly in my embrace.

_It has been so long since I had you in my arms… It feels good… so so good… It’s like… I’m home again…_

“NO! It’s my fault hyung! It’s my fault… I knew that you would be upset when you watch the teasers but I just wanted to make you jealous as well… I was really upset that you agreed to team up with Yugyeom for JUS2 and abandon me while I’m away… I know I’m selfish but I really wanted you all to myself… But when I received Yugyeom’s call this evening, my heart hurts so badly that I wanted to just drown myself for causing you so much pain… I’m sorry Jaebeomie… I’m sorry you have such a childish boyfriend…” Jinyoung’s heartwrenching sobs tore through my heart as he spoke his mind.

_Ah… so that’s why you purposely gave me a cold shoulder…? My jealous Jinyoungie is seriously… so cute…?_

“What are you laughing at, you meanie!” Jinyoung whined with tears and snort while slapping my chest with a cute pout.

“Because being with you makes smiling and laughing easy. You are the sunshine of my gloomy world, the pretty strawberries that I love in fresh yogurt.” I said with a fond smile as I stared at his slowly blushing face with so much love.

“W-What strawberries… you are such a weirdo… but you are my weirdo…” he muttered with a soft contented smile crawling up his redden face.

“Yeah, my strawberries that I love to… eat…” I whispered the last part in a low husky voice right into his ear, earning a squeak from him as he pushed me away.

“Y-You pervert~! G-Get away from me!” He stuttered cutely while hugging his lithe body as defense.

“Awwww baby you are just too cute for your own good!!” I exclaimed as I doubled over in laughter, tears of happiness lingered at the corner of my eyes.

_Having you by my side is the biggest happiness in my entire life, really._

“Idiot!” He huffed and whined out shyly.

“We are both idiots who are in love… I love you Jinyoung-ah, my angel, my Jinyoungie…” I whispered against his lips after pull him abruptly into my arms.

“I love you too Jaebeom-ah, so so much, my fool, my Jaebeomie” he replied with a wide grin as I leaned in to capture lips of the angel who had given me his wings.

 

 

 

_Because no matter where we are, what we did or how we felt…_

_We will always find our way back home with our love._

_We’re home._

 

 

 


End file.
